Erika Jayne is entering a new chapter of her life — and this time, she’s doing it on her own terms. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star has confirmed she’s dating John “Shrek” McPhee, a former U.S. Army Special Operations veteran turned private security expert. Unlike her past, very public marriage, Erika is keeping this relationship grounded, private, and refreshingly real. Over time, she has opened up about how they met, what drew her to him, and why this romance feels different. Here’s a complete, in-depth look at Erika Jayne’s relationship with “Shrek,” told clearly, conversationally, and without the noise.
Erika Jayne Is Dating Again – and It’s a Big Deal
For longtime viewers of RHOBH, Erika Jayne dating again isn’t just celebrity news — it’s a major emotional milestone.
After years of legal battles, public scrutiny, and the collapse of her marriage to Tom Girardi, Erika largely stepped away from romantic conversations. She focused on survival, rebuilding, and protecting herself in a way she hadn’t needed to before.
So when photos surfaced showing her holding hands with a new man, fans paid attention — not because of scandal, but because it looked calm. Normal. Happy.
That alone made people curious.
Who Is John “Shrek” McPhee?
John McPhee, widely known by his nickname “Shrek,” comes from a world completely different from reality television.
He is a retired U.S. Army Special Operations Sergeant Major with decades of experience in elite military units. Within those circles, nicknames like “Shrek” are earned, not given lightly, and often reflect both personality and reputation.
After retiring from military service, McPhee transitioned into private security and tactical training. He works as a bodyguard and security consultant, frequently around high-profile individuals — which is how his path eventually crossed with Erika’s.
He is disciplined, private, grounded, and intentionally low-profile — almost the opposite of the Beverly Hills lifestyle viewers associate with Erika Jayne.
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How Erika Jayne and John McPhee Met
Unlike many celebrity romances that start through mutual friends or social media, Erika and John met organically.
Erika has shared that she first noticed McPhee after seeing him featured on a podcast. Later, the two crossed paths backstage at a music festival in London. Instead of waiting for an introduction, Erika did something unexpected — she introduced herself.
There was no production crew, no cameras, and no storyline attached.
Just a conversation.
That detail matters, because it sets the tone for everything that followed. This relationship wasn’t born on RHOBH; it happened in real life.
The Paparazzi Photos That Changed Everything
The public learned about Erika’s new relationship in the most familiar way possible: paparazzi photos.
In mid-2025, images surfaced of Erika and McPhee holding hands in Los Angeles. What seemed like a quiet outing instantly became entertainment news.
Erika later admitted she was surprised by how fast the moment turned into headlines. At that stage, the relationship was still new, still personal, and still undefined.
But once the photos were out, there was no pretending it wasn’t happening.
Why This Relationship Feels Different for Erika
Erika Jayne has been very clear about one thing: this relationship does not feel like her past.
In interviews and on her podcast, she’s explained that she’s not chasing labels, timelines, or expectations. She’s enjoying something she hasn’t had in a long time — peace.
She’s described feeling comfortable with McPhee, even during the earliest dates. Simple things like walking together, holding hands, and spending quiet time felt meaningful to her.
After years of emotional turbulence, that sense of safety matters more than glamour.
What Erika Has Said About John “Shrek” McPhee
Erika isn’t oversharing — but what she has said is revealing.
She’s praised McPhee for being:
- Calm and emotionally steady
- Confident without ego
- Intelligent and thoughtful
- Unbothered by fame
She’s also emphasized that he respects her boundaries, including her need for privacy. That respect appears to be one of the strongest foundations of their connection.
Importantly, Erika has said she doesn’t know exactly where the relationship is headed — and she’s okay with that.
For her, enjoying the present is enough.
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Keeping It Off Reality TV — On Purpose
One of the most noticeable choices Erika has made is keeping her relationship mostly off The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
While castmates are aware she’s dating, McPhee has not become a central storyline, nor has Erika leaned into the relationship for screen time.
That decision feels intentional.
After years of having her personal life dissected on television, Erika seems determined to protect something that feels healthy — even if that means disappointing viewers who want every detail.
In many ways, that restraint makes the relationship feel more authentic.
Trips, Time Together, and Real-World Moments
Though she keeps things private, Erika has shared glimpses of their life together.
One standout moment was a trip to Panama, which she described as one of the best vacations she’s ever taken. There were no red carpets, no cameras, and no pressure — just time together.
Those experiences reflect how this relationship exists mostly outside of Hollywood, and that appears to be exactly how Erika wants it.
How the RHOBH Cast Has Reacted
On RHOBH, Erika’s relationship has been met with curiosity more than conflict.
Some cast members have teased her for keeping it quiet, while others admitted they knew about John before the public did. Overall, the reaction has leaned toward support — a notable change from the confrontational energy Erika has faced in past seasons.
That shift mirrors how viewers are responding as well.
Why Fans Are Rooting for This Romance
Public reaction to Erika and McPhee has been surprisingly positive.
Many fans see this relationship as a sign of healing. After watching Erika endure years of stress, grief, and public judgment, viewers are responding to the idea that she’s found something grounded and real.
It’s not flashy. It’s not dramatic.
And that’s exactly why people believe it.
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Who John McPhee Is Outside of Erika Jayne
McPhee’s life story adds another layer to why this relationship resonates.
He has spoken openly in other contexts about growing up in difficult circumstances and learning independence at a young age. His background shaped a strong sense of discipline and emotional resilience.
That lived experience may explain why he and Erika connect — both understand survival, scrutiny, and reinvention.
Is This Erika Jayne’s Fresh Start?
Erika Jayne hasn’t called this relationship a “new beginning” — but her actions suggest it is.
She’s no longer explaining herself to the public. She’s not rushing to define her love life. And she’s choosing what parts of her world remain private.
That confidence signals growth.
Whether or not this relationship lasts forever, it already represents something important: Erika reclaiming control of her personal story.
What Happens Next?
As of now, Erika and John “Shrek” McPhee are still together, still dating, and still keeping things intentionally low-key.
There’s no engagement announcement. No reality-TV debut. No grand declarations.
Just two people spending time together — and that may be exactly why it’s working.
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FAQs
Who is Erika Jayne’s boyfriend “Shrek”?
John “Shrek” McPhee is a retired U.S. Army Special Operations Sergeant Major who now works in private security and tactical training.
How did Erika Jayne and John McPhee meet?
They met backstage at a music festival in London after Erika recognized him from a podcast and introduced herself.
Is John McPhee on RHOBH?
He has not appeared as a major storyline, and Erika has chosen to keep the relationship mostly off the show.
How long have Erika Jayne and John McPhee been dating?
Erika has confirmed they have been dating for several months, with the relationship becoming public in mid-2025.
Why is Erika being so private about this relationship?
After years of public scrutiny, Erika has said she values peace and privacy and wants to enjoy the relationship without pressure.
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I’m Atul Kumar, founder of Cine Storytellers and an entertainment creator with 5+ years of experience. I cover films, celebrities, music, and OTT content with a focus on accurate, ethical, and engaging storytelling. My goal is to bring readers trustworthy entertainment news that informs, inspires, and goes beyond gossip.
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